Pierced
by nashi-hime
Summary: Byakuya contemplates his past relationships as he awaits for not only Ichigo, but also a reaction from him. ByakuyaxIchigo.


A/N: Written for Bleach_ yaoi over at LiveJournal.

Byakuya gently slipped his captains haori off of his pale shoulders as he undressed for bed. Outside, crickets chirped and hummed, along with a chorus of other bugs that created a harmonious melody that weary shinigami rested to.

Not Byakuya, though. His shoulders, lower back, and legs ached from going about his business all day; business that included things such as contacting other Captains for a requested transfer of Division members (both in and out of Byakuya's control), filing papers, visiting the Great Archives to find data and sources for said filed-papers, and finally, ending his already long day with scolding members of both his division and staff, particularly Rikichi. Only so many Hell Butterflies could be lost before Byakuya's normally dormant temper went with them.

He finished stripping off his shirt after his haori, and his shoes, socks, and pants after that. Standing almost naked in the middle of his room, Byakuya turned and took a good look at himself in the threefold mirror in the corner of his private space. He never in the hundreds of years that he had been alive could imagine what Ichigo saw in him. Others, such as his many female fans both in his division and in others, saw him as powerful and confident, but with an air of mystery that made the women, and a few of the men, want to find out more about him, and not just intellectually.

Unfortunately for Byakuya, all he saw in the mirror was someone whose remorse and overworking had lasted all too long. It was apparent in the little things, the things that hid themselves under his seemingly-invincible demeanor and his regal captains coat; things such as bags under his eyes from a lack of sleep, slouching shoulders from his ongoing depression at his loss of Hisana and other loved ones, and pale skin that signified what little time he really spent outside, with most of any available time of his spent either behind a desk or behind his manor walls.

His heart was worse though; his lack of true friends as well as a lack of self-confidence often left Byakuya feeling cold and alone. The only times that void in his soul seemed to be filled was around the Kurosaki boy. The two had been having secret meetings at Byakuya's place, the sheer size of his manor being able to cover both of their spiritual presences and their frequent talking and laughing. Yes, laughing. It had been decades since Byakuya had really been able to laugh with someone. He couldn't put into words his feelings for Ichigo; they were similar to his feelings for Hisana, but…different. Something was different, and it wasn't just the fact that Ichigo was a man and Hisana was clearly not. Ichigo was much different than Hisana, prominently in his personality. Ichigo was rash and liked to jump into things, while Hisana was mellow, taking her time to do anything, adding extra grace and poise in the process. Hisana was a lot like Byakuya, so they clicked, but Ichigo was opposite of Byakuya, and completed what parts of him were missing, and that's why they clicked. Nonetheless, Byakuya loved, and still loves, both of them dearly, and couldn't picture his life without either one of them at any point.

He twisted around, staring at the new scars in his back, there to last a lifetime. It had taken hours, not to mention a pretty penny, for them to get there, thank goodness with the oath of silence taken by the one who had scarred him. Byakuya felt a bit worried about what Ichigo would think of them. Would Byakuya be scolded? Hit? Rejected? The last one was the most fearsome to him; being rejected and left by Ichigo would be more painful for Byakuya than any physical abrasion could be put on him.

Byakuya shook his head rapidly. What was he thinking? Never in a million, no, longer, years would Ichigo even think of hurting Byakuya; physically, mentally, or emotionally. Byakuya knew he needed to feel confident in Ichigo's love for him, but in a way, he was unsure. This was just more of his self-consciousness setting in, he supposed.

A sharp rapping on the door quickly interrupted Byakuya. "Hey, Byakuya, 'you decent? Can I come in now?" It was Ichigo. Part of the pact that Byakuya had made with Ichigo was that they would give each other privacy in both dressing and using the bathroom. It was a respect thing, especially considering how the two weren't planning for sex of any sort anytime soon, mainly because Byakuya was a bit of a prude, and Ichigo was underage.

"You may come in," Byakuya permitted after slipping on a light kimono for his warm-night sleep. Just because the two didn't engage in sex certainly didn't mean that they didn't do other couple things. Whenever the occasion arouse for Ichigo to stay at Byakuya's manor so that the two could be alone (that was the reason Byakuya never stayed at Ichigo's place; there was so much paperwork to fill out when a Captain went to the world of the living that the two could never truly be "alone" in the human world, not to mention Ichigo's younger sisters and father surrounding Ichigo in his house at all times), Byakuya and Ichigo would do all of the things that any loving couple would do; kiss, hug, cuddle, sleep together, and sometimes just talk. Ichigo wasn't only Byakuya's lover, but also his confident who was fully aware of almost all of Byakuya's fears, loves, thoughts, and dreams. All but the scars that Byakuya was afraid to reveal to Ichigo tonight, both looking and begging for his acceptance of both them and his choice to do so.

Ichigo walked in like he entered most buildings in the Soul Society, as though he owned them, already dressed in his pajamas. Oh, how Byakuya envied his confidence, when he himself could only fake it. Going up to Byakuya and wrapping his arms around his waist, Ichigo gave his lover a passionate kiss. It caught Byakuya off guard, but he loved it. Ichigo was so unlike him, or rather, unlike how he was now. Wild, untamed, he reminded Byakuya a lot of himself when he was younger, probably around Ichigo's age, in fact.

Byakuya returned the favor with a light kiss on the cheek before crawling under the covers and snuggling his face into his pillow. Ichigo followed suit, crawling in next to Byakuya, turning so that he could gently stroke his face. Byakuya pushed himself deeper under the covers, as if he was trying to hide himself from Ichigo (in which he was).

"What? Are you shy tonight or something?" Ichigo gently pulled at the covers, as if not to startle Byakuya. Once Byakuya was rescued from the comforter's grasp, Ichigo began to fondle with his kimono strap. "It's too hot out tonight to stay covered up, you'll get overheated and sick if you try and sleep in this…" He fingers slipped over the gossamer band, ignoring the material's clearly light feel between his fingers.

Byakuya's spine went rigid. The scars…on his back…how would he explain them? What would happen to him? How would Ichigo react? Would he be angry with Byakuya? Would he like the scars? Would he compliment them? Would he leave? Hundreds of questions just like these swirled around Byakuya's already-clouded head. The air hung like a thick curtain as Byakuya sat upright and turned around as he patiently waited for Ichigo's comment.

"…Byakuya…"

"…Yes, Ichigo?"

"When did you get these piercings?" Ichigo gently ran his fingers over the rows of silver rings in Byakuya's back, laced up with a crimson ribbon. The feeling of Ichigo's fingers, although warm, made Byakuya's new piercings feel like ice beneath his skin. He let out a soft shiver before turning around and looking up from his kneeling position on the bed to look Ichigo in the eye.

"Last week." Byakuya then let it all flood out. "I swear, it was nothing but a spur of the moment thing. I had overheard about them from one of my female division members. I did research on them; I looked at both the benefits and risks. I couldn't help myself Ichigo, I just couldn't help myself Ichigo…I'm sick and tired of being weak and unoriginal…I want to change…I want to change…" Byakuya sobbed softly as he leaned into Ichigo's open arms. "Please help me change…Ichigo…You deserve so much…better, than me…" he continued to sob as Ichigo's arms hung by his side, also from being in a kneeling position upon the bed.

"Now why would I want you to change?" Ichigo asked with an equally low voice. He wrapped his arms gently around Byakuya, his fingers on the sterling rings in his back, intertwining them between the rows and twists of silk ribbon. "You're perfect. If you change, then who am I supposed to love? I like this Byakuya…" Ichigo kissed Byakuya on the forehead. "If you want to be a better person in your own heart, then that's something that you have to do. I'd never want you to change for me, or for anybody else. If change will make you happy, then change. Even though your happiness makes me happy, I still don't want you to change…Do you get what I'm saying?" Ichigo asked, cupping the still weeping Byakuya's face in his hands and bringing it up to his own for a light kiss.

"I-I think so…" Byakuya said, truthfully. He knew that Ichigo only wanted the best for him, and if that meant having discomfort on his own part, then so be it. That was one of the many reasons that Byakuya loved Ichigo; Ichigo didn't expect as much from him as others did.

"So…why did you get the piercing?" Ichigo said, trying to lighten the mood and start up a conversation as he turned Byakuya around again and studied the piercings.

"I want to feel more like an individual… People see me, my lifestyle, my position, and my job, and base me solely off of that…I want to be known more for my tastes and my true personality, and have friends that way…" Byakuya said, again truthfully. Ichigo smiled one of the most forgiving, understanding, and kindest smiles that Byakuya had ever seen, much less received.

"I see you that way. I hope you don't think that I'm being too reasonable!" Ichigo said, chuckling. Byakuya let out a laugh, the first real one in a week.

"Yes…I know…" Byakuya finished stripping of his kimono as Ichigo opened the window behind the bed. He knew too well that being pressed close to Ichigo, surrounded by his loving person, would keep him warm enough tonight.


End file.
